Deputy Government Spokesperson Mwanaisha Chidzuga has called upon chiefs and their trusty sidekicks, the assistants, to get the word out about government projects. Yes, you heard that right, it seems like spreading the word is all the rage now, even if the projects themselves are as elusive as the fabled Mt. Kenya snow.

According to Chidzuga, the government has been scattering its coins like a generous elder tossing sweets at a family gathering. These multi-billion-shilling projects are supposedly part of something called the Bottom-up Economic Transformation Agenda (BETA), which apparently has nothing to do with binge-watching old TV shows. No, this BETA thing is President William Ruto’s big idea to make Kenya great again, or so they say.

So, what’s the deal with public involvement, you ask? Well, it’s like inviting your nosy neighbor over for tea and biscuits, but instead of gossiping about who’s dating who, you’re supposed to chat about government stuff. Chidzuga reckons that involving the public will ensure that everyone gets a say in things, which sounds like a noble cause until you remember that Kenyans are known for having opinions hotter than a plate of pilau.

Chidzuga has a plan. She thinks chiefs should be the government’s hype squad, spreading the good news about projects like they’re gossiping about the latest scandal. Because, you know, who better to inform the masses than the folks who know every family’s business from here to Nairobi?

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, Chidzuga drops the bombshell that no part of Kenya will be left out of the government’s benevolence. That’s right, even the tiniest villages tucked away in the valleys will supposedly get their share of the pie. Whether you believe that or not is a whole other story.

Now, let’s talk projects.

From dams to airports to fishy business at the ports, it seems like there’s something for everyone. Kwale County, in particular, is getting a makeover that even Cinderella would envy. With billions being thrown around like confetti at a wedding, it’s hard not to get excited about the possibilities – don’t forget to thank your local chief for keeping you in the loop.

In the midst of all this government chatter, Chidzuga takes a moment to play fairy godmother to widows in need. Because nothing says “public service” like handing out food parcels faster than you can say “Hakuna Matata.” But it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Chidzuga also has some stern words about the rising tide of insecurity, reminding parents to keep an eye on their little mischief makers.

From government projects to Ramadan food drives, it’s all happening in Kenya. Just remember to keep your ears open, your opinions handy, and your chief on speed dial. Who knows what surprises the government will come up with next?